I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
