She said her name was "party"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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