put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
