It's Friday. Sex?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
