There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
