I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
