Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
