I think my vagina is haunted
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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