Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
