Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
