I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
