OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
