D3 body, D1 cock
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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