this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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