is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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