There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
