new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
