I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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