New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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