your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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