Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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