I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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