yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
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PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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