When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
