Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I need help removing her.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
