So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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