in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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