Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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