we're blogging at a bar
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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