TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
