I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
