OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
