Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
