if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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