We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
