whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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