At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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