It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
