Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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