her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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