Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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