So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
