i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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