We're facebook friends in real life
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
