if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
