Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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