i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
