I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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