You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
