I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
