True but thats because hes a fetus.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
