New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
