i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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