I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
