i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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