I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
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Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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