I am spending my child support on dildos
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
