life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He kissed a someone with a penis
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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