Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
