:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
