Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We have started to decorate penises.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize