In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
