Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
