D3 body, D1 cock
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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