"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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