I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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