guys are not supposed to queef...right?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
