my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
