Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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